conFUsioN meTEr
"If you're not confused, you're not paying attention..."

Friday, June 16, 2006

You are just another one...

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at wat ur studying or your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.
You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone! but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you are scared just to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." -- Michael Jordan

posted by confusionism at 11:56 AM


Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Lazy Day

I am moving at my own pace today. Not being aware of the clock ticking. But I did a great deal of work today. And satisfied by mid-day. Still a long way to go. I have lined up things to cover for the rest of the day...That's it for now...

posted by confusionism at 12:42 PM


Monday, June 12, 2006

Chitto Chat in a BUS!

It all starts with asking eachother, "Oota aayitha?". From there, there is no stop until the conductor shouts out the name of the stop either one of them is destined to get down. The variety of topics covered during the conversation ranges from food to family to job offers to college admission to tution centres to discount sale to weather to elections to cricket matches to what not.
This is a typical scene you come across when you are commute by public transport. Participants could be of any age group and not gender specific. And if you have real good reception, it is likely that you could turn out to be a consultant in any of the fields mentioned above. Well, talking about over-hearing, it is unnecessary. Because, it will be audible even to the person sitting on the other end of the bus. So there is not much strain involved. It is quite interesting and one should make sure to pretend as though you are not paying attention, but if you happen to look around, you would be able to see the ears of everyone turning red due to too much of concentration in grasping as much as possible...hehe... So why make it evident? Remain on the cool side, the one's in the "I Don't care" category. running out!

posted by confusionism at 1:05 PM


Sunday, June 11, 2006

Getting Busy with the Moon

Its a pleasant evening and look who is getting all the attention. She is glowing all bright in the sky. With all the pride and beauty she is set to drive the night wild and crazy. Its the lady Moon! She looks innocent but am not sure what she is upto. Look at her. She just stays there and smiles at you letting you forget all the worries. No she is not upto anything. She is just looking at you, the same look you see on a mother's face. :)
Oooo...I just looked out of my window. She is going high and higher up in the sky.
Now, I wonder, has she not got closer to earth over years? Have you ever noticed the patterns on the moon? Has that remained the same or has it been changing over years? Why does it look yellowish and sometimes whitish eh? Err...Confused!

posted by confusionism at 7:37 PM


"In Love with myself"